Friday, March 26, 2010


I miss her like crazy.

But I am really crazy. Or am I not?

VAIN – is how I describe myself. NUMB –is how I define my life. WASTED – is how everything goes. A UNIVERSAL INVERTER – is how she means to me.

Today is a sunny day?, the same kind of day where I first happen to talk to her. I met her in those days where my life is going really worthless. I spend nights and days doing nothing unusual. Sorrows after sorrows. Trials after trials. Exhausted and worn-out is how I describe myself during those days of my life. Going back, the heat of the sun and the humidity of the air is the foundation of our friendship. For our first real conversation happen in front of our dressing room’s electric fan. I went there to have some air while she was drying her hair. From that we’ve talked about how we arrive at the same church for she was a transferee. Then I also share my short stories. From that on whenever we see each other we wave each other sweet hellos. But we became closer because we have a common friend name Jenna. As simple as that we started sharing stories and I made it a habit to follow her whenever she was there, then we became best friends. I can no longer recall how did it exactly happen, but I know it didn’t take long.

She’s my crying shoulder, my number one fan who believes in me, my sister, my extended family, not only her, her two older sisters also treat me as their own siblings. She listens in my non ending love stories. She laughs at my senseless jokes. She cries with me over my miseries. And slaps me on the face about my foolishness. Because of her I learned to let go, I learned to forget, I learned to move on, I learned to cry, I learned to be happy, I learned to love whole heartedly. Because of her I learned live and I’ve learned life. Because of her I was able to learn and unlearn things. And now I’m missing her.

“Give a man a fish and you feed her for a day, Taught a man how to fish and you feed her for life.” What she taught me is for a life time. And I’ll cherish it till my last breath.

She’s my sweet heart, my best friend, my special some one, my LAARNI. And now, I miss her like crazy.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Opus


I entered the room empty
One by one they pile loads in me
Of what I am now
Is what they install

I was lying in my bed half-awake
Then they come near,
Sang me songs of life,
And relay me stories of town

They taught me ABC's,
Hear my first love story,
Laughed on my farces,
And cried over my heartbreaks.

Their influence was really vast,
Everything will truly last,
For nothing can ever be compare
In all those things we've shared

They hold me, mold me, and finally let go of me, and now I’m missing them,
But missing is far different from forgetting, Cause here in my heart, is where they’ll forever stay.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

This is not about LOVE♥


This is not about LOVE



I saw him. He’s near. He’s tender. He’s affectionate. He’s sincere. He held her hands. He drew her closer. And I watched them as they vanished through the path.
This is not about LOVE.


Whenever I compose something may it be a poem, an essay, a short story, a feature, I always put my heart in it. Ofcourse. But if you’ll read all my outputs an ingredient is permanently present, there is always a touch of this so-called LOVE. It’s not because I’m always in love. I just have this own instinct that I’ll catch more of people’s interest if my topic will somehow be related to the el-ow-vi-ii thing, for I only expect students, teenagers, friends, and acquaintances to waste their time reading my works?. It add spice in my composition, it brings life and it makes it more interesting. Just like when I published my own love story in this site, I got so many reactions and comments, from friends even from strangers. I don’t know why but I suppose people are move whenever there is a presence of love, especially when they can relate. But could I possibly publish an interesting composition excluding love from it?
Now, This is not about LOVE.

He wraped his arms around her shoulder. He turned her body facing his. He looked her on the eyes then thoughtfully thumbs through her hair. Now, would you believe me if I tell you it’s not about love?
Yeah, This is not about LOVE.

She cried in my shoulder while cursing every single detail about him. With over flowing emotion, she whispered to my ear, “If only I could turn back time, I wont even waste a single moment looking at his face.” But let me tell you this is not about love.
Mind you, This is not about LOVE.

There’s a deep silence. It’s about an hour now. Still, no one wants to talk. He looked at her in the most affectionate way he can. But still he doesn’t mind. She really doesn’t wanna talk, neither he. And they will never. Could you believe? This is not about love. Still not about love.
Eventhough, This is not about LOVE.
He carefully watched them, as he held her hands and kissed her on the chick. Tears fell from his eyes. He used to be the one doing it with her. But not anymore. But he is crying not because of love. No, not about love.
Once more, This is not about LOVE.


THIS IS NOT ABOUT LOVE.
Yes it’s not. It’s more of other things.


He doesn’t cry for love, but for REGRETS.
They don’t talk not because of love, but because of PRIDE.
She doesn’t curse due to love, perhaps due to hatred.
He’s not affectionate because of love, but because of strong admiration.
And the first one is not about love, it’s more of friendship since they were best friends.

But what are the regrets for? Isn’t it because he still loves her?
Where is the pride coming from? Isn’t it from the two loving couples?
Why does hatred developed? Maybe because she loves her and he cheated.
What is the sum of admiration plus affection and attachment? Won’t it be Love?
And what’s within friendship?


Now tell me, could I possibly compose something excluding love from it? when everything includes love. Politics is love. Love for your people. Science is love, love for existing things. Poverty talks about love. Gambling is love, it’s a dangerous love for material things. Sports is love, it’s for ones health and happiness. ETC.
This is not about LOVE. This can be “not about love”. Maybe the el-ow-vi-ii a guy may feel for the girl or vice versa. Maybe the kind of romantic love couples are sharing. But the universal love? It can never be excluded.

I was lying when I told you that ‘This is not about LOVE’. But in fact, this is ALL ABOUT LOVE.

The full version of ABOUT ME.

Me, Myself and I

Rushing things is never easy. But the statement can sum up everything about my life. I rush almost 75% of my daily life and sometimes even worst, it depends upon the circumstances and upon my MOOD.

I eat. I drink. I sleep. I lie at some points. I linger a lot. I sing. I dance. I ACT. I cry sometimes. I play. I study if necessary or shall I say if I find no way out. I talk a lot. I write. I SHARE. And finally I LIVE. --And I rush it.

I am attached. Attached to almost everything that surrounds me. I love and enjoy the feeling of attachment. I love it whenever people drew their selves near me. I consider every close acquaintance as friends. And I cherish every friend that I do have. And I don’t choose one - not so sure if it’s a great idea. For all the friends I got, one thing is common about them. I am attached.

Paranoid. the word that best suits me. More than jerk does. More than pervert does. More than insane does. And more than any other positive or negative adjective that can ever pop up in your mind at this very moment. I hate it. But it’s not my choice. It’s my fate. And sad to say, I can’t do anything about it.

My life is constant ups and downs. Often times wasted, more often in a mess. But I’m proud to tell every soul that will ever happen to run their eyes through this text that MY LIFE DOES HAVE A PURPOSE. Yeah it’s often wasted but not at all times. It’s often in a mess but when it’s doing great, it’s tremendous. Even if I’m LIKE THIS, I do believe that I am not just an additional living individual that only contributes in the world’s population. Well, not asking, my purpose in life is to be SOMEBODY. I want to make a change.

One place I love most. On the stage. Before every audiences’ sight and attention. I love the feeling whenever I affect my people, whenever I touch their hearts and whenever I influence.
I hate LOVE. But I love a lot. Maybe it’s not really the love thing that I hate but its factors and consequences.
I’m not an EMO, just truly expressive or shall I say FULL OF DRAMA.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

--UNDER CONSTRUCTION

at tulad nga ng sabe ko,
itutuloy ko ang blog na to.

pero medyo papalitan ko na ang theme at atmosphere.
ayoko na ng emo at msyadong madramang mga kwetuhan.

haha!

sana sa gagawin kong to dumami ang viewer ng blog ko.
hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang nag uudyok saken mag blog ngayong napaka tamad kong tao, at hindi lang ako tamad, hindi ko man gustohin, busy ako, oo BUSYing tao.

sana matuloy tong plano ko at hindi mauwe sa puro plano lang, tulad nd ibang mga pina plano ko.
natutuwa kasi talaga ako kapag kahit ganitong isang hamak na estudyante lang ako e may mga tao palang naaliw sa blog ko. kapag may nag sabeng, "ui lark, nabasa ko ung blog mo aa, ASTEEG!" eh daig ko pa ang naka perfect ng 100items quiz, no calculator at no solution, no credit, right minus wrong pa. kahit sa totoo lang isa palang ang nagagawa kong blog sa buong buhay ko at hindi naman ganon kadami ang admirers non.

madrama talaga at makwento akong tao kahit sa personal, alam yan ng lahat ng mga kainigan ko.
minsan nga sa ingay ko eh madalas makayamot ako, madalas din na hindi na makapagsalita ang kausap ko sa dami ng kwento ko. dito sa pagsusulat ko eh ako lang ang nakakadaldal, matatapos muna ko at masasabi ko lahat ng gusto ko sabihin bago kayo makapag comment.

namiss ko talaga ang pagsusulat. Campus journalist kasi ako simula nung elementary pa pati nung high school, un nga lang nawala ang momentum ko nung college, bukod sa pag hohost, pag peperform sa theatres namiss ko ang paghawak ng ballpen at pag iisip ng malamim mapa pag alala sa mga nakaraang pang yayari, pang bobola ng mga tao o di naman kaya pag iimbento ng mga kwentong barbero. oo nako, certefied barbero ako! haha!

mapa english man mapa tagalog, writing has always been my fashion, kahit sanay ako magsalita at natutuwa akong gawin yon, iba parin kapag papel o di kaya monitor lang muna ang kausap ko, malayo sa mapang husgang ewan ng mga tao.

sabe ko hindi na ko mag dradrama eh!
baket andrama ko paden???
wala na ata akong pag asa eh.
haha!

sana dumami pa ang nag babasa ng blog ko.
sana madami pa kong makilala dahil dito,
gusto kong magkwento ng magkwento ng tungkol sa buhay ko o kahit ano2.
kahit parang wala akong napapala sa ginagawa ko, meron kaya!!

SANA MAGING SIKAT NA BLOGGER AKO.
joke! biro lang!

ayoko ngang sumikat!
haha!
mas gusto ko ung mga simpleng tao lang ang mga humuhusga ng gawa ko, para hindi masyado mataas expectations, kasi hindi naman talaga ako magaling, minsan nga wrong grammar pa kahit filipino na. gusto ko lang talaga na nakakaapekto ako mula sa mga gawa ko, kasi pakiramdam ko effective ako. dito sa blog ko, AKO ANG BIDA, ako ang tama, ako ang batas, sasabihin ko lahat ng gusto ko, walang makakakontra, walang wrong grammar, redundant phrase at malicious sentences.

o pano, hanggang sa muli.
sa mga taong naniniwala saken, (sa mga pambobola ko)
well wish me luck!
hindi nyo lang alam kung gano kalaki na kocontribute nyo sa buhay ko.

sabe sainyo eh, wala na kong pag asa,
MADRAMA talaga!

PS.
add nyo ko sa fb:)